I always know what to do, and now I am bereft of any direction.
Phoenix, the rescue, is supposed to be put down tomorrow evening at or about 7pm.
We had a gracious volunteer, Sam Maynard of Maynard Construction here in Lavalette,
come and dig the grave today. He offered kindly to come back tomorrow and bury her once she is put down.
Now, maybe I am just getting cold feet and this is still the right choice, but maybe there is a chance she will recover and be okay and basically, eventually pain-free and live happily. . .
Maybe she just needs time or maybe she simply is tired and wants to be done. 'Tis the trouble with animals. . . they cannot tell us.
I had friends visit yesterday, and she was perky, nickering to them, came over for some pats, and that is what made me really reconsider. If she can feel okay enough to do that, is she really through?
Oh, maybe she is just used to so much pain that she copes as best she can and gets what love and affection she knows we offer and deals.
You know, I began this journey by writing, "Horse Rescue is not fun, but someone must do it. . ." and perhaps my husband is right and I need to "Cowboy Up" now that it really and truly has become a tragedy, but I can't seem to find the ability to do so.
I need to make a decision soon and make peace with it.
* * *
Okay, I've come back to this post from this evening to add that I was able to email with and hear back from a large rescue that deal specifically with rescues with serious hoof issues.
They were able to put things in perspective with this mare in a way that makes me feel at peace with putting this mare down. I am not happy about it, but I feel much more confident in the decision now.