I think of the sister I lost often. Daily, really.
I've never believed in someone's love for me as much. It isn't to say I loved her more than all else, but I've loved no one more, and there was something there for her I'll never know again.
There are things a sister who has known you since you were a child offers no one else can. . .
There are things I'll never have without her, but I hope I can find a way to not let all of that hurt prevent the other little sister who came along so long after the first "Little" one that she could never feel the way Angel did about me once upon a time.
And in the same token, perhaps one day all the desperate missing of the one will let me remember more often to not take this one for granted.
She is Alana. Quite unique and decidedly her own strange person. . .and one I know my darling Angel would have loved as blindly as she ever loved me, and I'd say this little one will have deserved the love more than I ever did.
And darn them both for all those weird hugs they love(d) to give me. Maybe one day, I will learn how to like them.