Tuesday, October 25, 2016

I think of her so often, daily. . .so much, I'm not thankful for what I have still

I think of the sister I lost often. Daily, really.

I've never believed in someone's love for me as much. It isn't to say I loved her more than all else, but I've loved no one more, and there was something there for her I'll never know again.
There are things a sister who has known you since you were a child offers no one else can. . .
There are things I'll never have without her, but I hope I can find a way to not let all of that hurt prevent the other little sister who came along so long after the first "Little" one that she could never feel the way Angel did about me once upon a time.
And in the same token, perhaps one day all the desperate missing of the one will let me remember more often to not take this one for granted.
She is Alana. Quite unique and decidedly her own strange person. . .and one I know my darling Angel would have loved as blindly as she ever loved me, and I'd say this little one will have deserved the love more than I ever did.
And darn them both for all those weird hugs they love(d) to give me. Maybe one day, I will learn how to like them.



Be thou diligent to know the state of thy flocks, and look well to thy herds. For riches are not for ever: and doth the crown endure to every generation? The hay appeareth, and the tender grass sheweth itself, and herbs of the mountains are gathered. The lambs are for thy clothing, and the goats are the price of the field. And thou shalt have goats' milk enough for thy food, for the food of thy household, and for the maintenance for thy maidens

- Proverbs 27:23-27

"I know of no pursuit in which more real and important services can be rendered to any country than by improving its agriculture, its breed of useful animals, and other branches of a husbandman's cares."

- George Washington