A Sad Day and ignorant mistakes

Had to put down our poor little Llama, Keisha, tonight.

She contracted the menengial worm, and once effected,

they almost never recover.

She was down. We had her stalled and treated with banamine, ivomectin

plus, bo-se and we kept her drenched with electrolytes and water,

but we had no way to get her up into a sling 

(though that just gave a slight chance she might improve),

and hercondition just kept declining over the past 4-5 days.

She had stopped eating 2 days ago, and this evening, 

she was too pitiful for me to justify tryinf to continue to

treat something untreatable.

 

We had an Alpaca get the menengial worm in the past,
and we had a vet at our last place put him down with medication,
and it was AWFUL.

They are very hard, it seems, to stick intravenously, (http://www.serenityacresllamas.com/injections.htm)

... it was SO sad and took so long - the vet stuck him over and over,
and she could never hit a vein. It was so horrible to watch. Eventually,
she was so upset over having to stick him, she did a heart prick,
and it was heart breaking to see.  I remember it so clearly.

 It was not humane.

I've seen dogs put down, and it has always been peaceful.
This instance above was nothing like that.

I swore I'd never put another alpaca or llama like that, so with Keisha,
the llama, I felt a quick, painless bullet would be the best thing when
I recalled what happened with Rufus, the alpaca, and how I wished
over and over I'd just opted for a bullet.

The vet who put the Alpaca down did tell me ahead of time that the
best option was a correctly placed shot , and she offered to go that
route when she saw him, but I declined - thinking the IV meds the
 best choice, thinking how peaceful it was for dogs. . .I was wrong
then, but I was wrong tonight, too :(

The llama, Keisha, was out of it as it was, and remembering
poor Rufus(which ttraumatized me to no end) with the vet euthanizing
. . . I felt so sure it would be the best for her to have John,
who I felt had a lot of experience with firearms, simply put her
down. . .well, all I can say is it WAS NOT what I expected.

No words :(

I'm so sorry to have made such a horrific error in judgement.
I'm sorry I assumed someone could do something he could not do correctly.
I am sorry - I thought it was the best thing.

I was wrong.

Nothing I can do about it now. I thought I learned something from
 Rufus being put down, but now, I do not know at all . . .anything more than
 I am not qualified to own llamas and alpacas. I will have no more. I did
what I thought was the right thing for her - to give her the quickest and
most pain free way out I could. . .and was wrong.

Anyone who knows me is aware I try my best to be as kind to animals
as possible. I spend money I do not really have to see those in my care
are given treatment when needed and go above and beyond. I just did
not find large animals euthanzasia to seem humane when I saw it first hand
and thought this was a better way.  :( I believe sometimes that is the case.
It was not this time.
She wasn't the nicest llama, but I like her very well :'(